I had grand ideas. I promised myself that if I survived that I would change my life. That I would be a better human being, make a difference in world. Needless to say, I survived. The perfection that I strived for I soon realized was doomed, that in order to fulfill it I would have to please everyone, and that is impossible. I tried repeatedly and I nearly lost myself in the process believing that I was some miracle being that survived cancer and that I had to live this "new" life as if everyday would be my last. That the path that I would now go on would be watched by everyone, a model of behavior that would be followed.
I was wrong....what I failed to realize is that I had to be happy with myself...ME, the person that housed my soul and whose body had gone through so much. It has not been easy. I have made many mistakes and I know I will make many more for I am only human, not a goddess, a diety, prophet or queen. I am a lucky someone who recognized that every day is a gift and that in order to make changes in the world around me I had to make the change within myself. Become that better person I always knew I could be. It is not something that we can achieve overnight, but a journey of a lifetime that I am blessed to be given a second chance at. So, today....I give a shout out to all of those that have been constant companions to those that have made and impression on me and no longer are in my life.
I LOVE YOU